Frustrated...

I have been so frustrated lately. Maybe it's because of the fact that we are gonna move by the end of the year. My mum said that my brother and I can only visit my grandma on Monday and Wednesday because we have tuition on that day...We have been living together for 15 years for me and 13 for my brother. I don't have the heart to stay away from my grandma. She means the world to me.

She took care and teach us when my parents are out working. We have to move because my grandma and my mum had a fight that day. All that screaming and shouting that day made my heart pound and my mind, wonder. What's going to happen next? I heard my grandma shout to my mum, " Get out of the house and LEAVE !! " "Where am I suppose to stay when I leave?", my mum said. " Stay in a hotel !!", my uncle shouted. From that moment onwards, my mum has been finding houses on the internet and in newspapers. I don't want to leave my grandma alone. She keep saying that she will die anytime... I don't want to leave her...

That house that I am staying at the moment has been filled with memories of my childhood and of course, my grandpa. My grandpa is a wonderful person. He always pampered and cared for me. But now he is gone. Gone to be with the Lord. I hope my grandpa will give me strength to carry on with my life...

Everytime I went to the back of the house, my grandpa will be doing something. No matter it's gardening or wood work. But now he is gone and we have to move. But he will lie in my heart for eternity. Sometimes I think I let my grandma down. Because I don't do well in my studies. But each time I showed her my report card, she always says work hard, study more and she hands me an ang pao. Then she hugs me. My parents didnt do that. My grandma did...

I feel so much better writing this...

From,
Syuen Syuen